Only Because

Only Because

Only because I allowed myself to detach from all the dysfunctional noise

Was I able to feel her pain… A flood of it

Long before anyone heard it scream

Long before anyone saw the posture of tears

It was real tragic pain… From chaos handed down from

Generation to generation

Colorless pain… The same gray as un-forgiveness

Pain inflicted in a bloodless battle of re-creation

Pain without a scar… Visible only to those

Who… Have given or received the same pain

Who… Asked to see color of the pain of others

Who… Remember the feel of pain from love crucifixion

As trust dies without resurrection… I need to be baptized in gratitude

By immersion in the pain of others

Pain with a quill so sharp… That it… Alters destiny and fate

That it… Changes the posture of pain forever

That it… Welds eyes into nothingness

That it… Drifts in the mind… Altering time

I need to see the continuum of chaos caused by pain…

Chaos… Like a dust devil following a fence line buried in tumbleweeds

Chaos… Like a flood of mud in a meadow creating a mass grave for wildflowers

Chaos… Like blood and broken glass on the white line of asphalt crimes

Only because I allow myself… To feel… To smell… To hear… To see… Pain

Was I able to heal my scared and wounded gratitude